As a therapist, I’ve also experienced this first-hand when looking for my own support, and I know how disheartening it can be.
You might be wondering:
- Why do all therapists sound so similar?
- What do all these therapy terms mean?
- Why isn’t everyone clear about their fees, availability, or how they work?
- Where do I find their values? Their training? Their specialisms?
- Am I supposed to just guess who will be the right fit?
If you’re here because you want support but feel overwhelmed at the very first step, this blog is for you.
Why is it so hard to find a therapist?
Therapists often don’t explain what they do in a clear or accessible way. Many websites are full of vague phrases or clinical language that doesn’t help you understand how they actually work, who they support, or whether you’d get on with them.
Here are some common frustrations you might experience:
- Therapist profiles often sound and look the same.
Muted colours, scenes of calm and nature, stacks of pebbles… Many therapists describe their work in generic, soothing language. It’s hard for you to tell who’s actually a good fit, or to get a sense of personality and connection that stands out. - You have no sense of their values or approach to inclusivity.
If you are someone who experiences marginalisation or oppression, this can feel really important. However, it’s hard to tell if a therapist is genuinely affirming and inclusive, has additional training or lived experience, or is just saying what they think they should. - Too much jargon.
Terms like “psychodynamic” or “somatic” can be confusing if you’re new to therapy, and can leave you feeling confused or disconnected. - Little sense of the human behind the credentials.
Many therapists don’t share anything about their personality, style, or worldview. - Poor clarity on the logistics.
Is therapy offered online? In person? Email? Hybrid? How do you actually book a session or an introductory call? - They don’t mention specialisms or training.
You’re left wondering whether they actually understand your specific struggles or lived experience. - You don’t know what you need — and that’s okay.
Most people start with a sense of confusion about what they need and how to name what they are going through.
The main problem? You don’t know what you don’t know, and the therapy world often doesn’t make it any easier.
How I can help you find a therapist
Let me reassure you. You don’t need to know everything about therapy before you start. You also don’t need to know exactly what you need.
You can ask questions, take your time, and figure out what matters most to you.
My aim is to help you:
- Clarify what you want in a therapist (even if it starts with “not like my last one!”)
- Understand common therapy styles in plain English
- Make sense of fees, availability, and getting started
- Think about what kind of values and relational approach would feel safe for you
You deserve a therapist who accepts you fully, not someone who expects you to show up already knowing how it all works.
What to look for when searching
Use this guide to help you assess therapist profiles. You can also use it as a checklist to think about what you might want or need from your therapist.
Once you have some criteria, it’s much easier to make some selections.
It’s important to say here that therapy is an unregulated area in the UK*, so using this checklist helps to ensure you are choosing a therapist who has met a set of standards.
* With the exception of Music Psychotherapists, Drama Psychotherapists, Art Psychotherapists, and Counselling Psychologists. These are protected titles, and they are regulated by the Health and Care Professions Council (HCPC).
1. Training and specialisms
Do they clearly confirm their qualifications?
Are they trained via a university or university-accredited institution? (Examples may be a Diploma, Degree, Postgraduate Diploma or Master’s.)
Do they list specialisms? Maybe they work specifically with complex trauma, grief, neurodivergence, the LGBTQIA+ community, or those with eating disorders or chronic illness.
Are their specialisms clearly backed by evidence of ongoing learning, specialist supervision, and, if it’s important to you, lived experience?
Are they part of a professional membership body? To be a member of a professional body, particular training and experience standards must be met, so this is an additional safeguard that the therapist has invested in training and is signed up to an ethical code of conduct.
2. Values and inclusion
Do they clearly express inclusive values such as anti-racism, fat-positive, or gender-affirming care?
Do they demonstrate cultural awareness or lived experience? Can you sense an understanding of intersectionality — how different disadvantages and discrimination overlap and connect?
Is their website inclusive, easy to use, and accessible to you?
3. Relationship style
Do they describe how they work with clients, and how they are in the relationship?
Can you get a sense of their personality and tone? Does their photo give you good vibes?
Would you prefer someone warm, soft and non-directive, or a bit more structured and direct?
4. Practicalities
Are session types (online, in-person, email, outdoor) and lengths listed?
Can you book a short introductory call to get a feel for them?
Are fees and availability clearly stated, and within your budget?
Is it clear how to contact them and book?
Are their working hours clear, and do they work at a time when you can access therapy?
Tip: Shortlist a handful of therapists and consider booking intro calls. These chats help you gauge whether you feel a natural connection. A call can tell you more than a profile ever can. And yes — sometimes a therapist can meet all your requirements and still not feel right. That’s okay. Trust your instincts and keep looking.
How much does therapy cost?
Therapist fees can vary widely, from around £35 to £200 per hour. This variation depends on factors such as location, experience, and specialism.
Many therapists invest heavily in supervision, specialist training, professional memberships, and ongoing development for the benefit of their clients.
Things to consider:
- Is the fee sustainable for you over time?
- Do they offer reduced rates or flexible scheduling?
- Are cancellation and payment policies clear?
Understanding therapy approaches
You don’t need to learn all the many therapy models, but here’s a very brief snapshot of some common ones you might see on websites:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing)
Reducing the impacts of trauma using eye movements or bilateral stimulation (both sides of the body).
Transactional Analysis (TA)
Exploring how your personality has been shaped by experiences, particularly those stemming from childhood. A relational and collaborative approach.
Gestalt
Focuses on emotions, perceptions, behaviours, body sensations, ideas and memories, vividly in the here and now with the therapist.
Internal Family Systems / Parts Work
Exploring and healing different internal parts of the self. We have different ‘parts’ within us, and a core ‘Self’ that is calm and compassionate.
Somatic / Body-based
Nervous system regulation, body awareness, noticing and resolving how experiences and emotions are held in the body.
Person-centred
Non-directive empathic support, client-led sessions. Helps you recognise your own capacity for self-healing and personal growth.
CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)
A practical and solution-focused therapy that helps you understand how your thoughts and behaviours influence each other.
Psychodynamic
Childhood experiences and bringing the unconscious into consciousness, helping you recognise, experience, and understand deep-rooted feelings.
What matters most isn’t the label — it’s whether the approach feels supportive, understandable, and empowering to you.
If something sounds confusing, you can ask:
“How would you describe your approach to someone totally new to therapy?”
What about relationship and connection?
Connection is central to therapy. You don’t need to feel instant trust or safety — that builds over time.
Early signs of a good relational fit include:
- Feeling heard and respected
- Noticing curiosity and care
- A sense that the therapist stays with your pace
Trust your gut. It’s okay to walk away and keep looking if it doesn’t feel right. Research consistently shows that the quality of the therapeutic relationship has more impact on outcomes than the type of therapy used.
Common worries
Let’s normalise some very real fears:
“What if I choose the wrong person?”
You might — and that’s okay. You can change. Not everyone is the right fit for each other.
“What if I don’t know what I need?”
Most people start therapy unsure. That’s part of the work.
“I’m scared I’ll be too much.”
A good therapist won’t be overwhelmed. You get to show up as you are. All of you is welcome.
“What if I can’t afford it long term?”
Options like sliding scales or lower-frequency sessions may help. Check whether your therapist offers reduced or subsidised session fees.
Quick FAQ
How do I know if someone is qualified?
Look for registration with a professional body and listed qualifications. Common bodies include the UKCP, NCPS, BACP, BABCP, BPC, and COSRT. Membership can be checked on the relevant website. Some titles, such as Art, Drama and Music Psychotherapist, or Counselling Psychologist, are protected and regulated by the HCPC.
Do I need a diagnosis to start therapy?
No. You just need to feel ready to explore your experience. Feeling stuck, low, worried or unsure is enough.
What if I don’t “click” with anyone?
Keep trying. The right fit makes all the difference, and sometimes it takes time.
For some people, seeing a therapist with lived experience is important. If this is the case for you, there are specific directories, including:
- Neurotribe
- The Black, African and Asian Therapy Network
- Gendered Intelligence
Next steps
If you’re still reading, great — you’re already doing something courageous.
You don’t have to get it perfect or figure it all out today. Perhaps set aside a bit of time, somewhere comfy with a cuppa, and try this:
- Jot down what matters to you (values, style, fee, specialisms) and prioritise them
- Start with a few websites or directories and use this checklist
- Book an intro call or send an enquiry
Be gentle with yourself. This is a big step.
You don’t need a crisis to reach out. The right relationship could start with one email, one message, one small act of hope.
